| Ask Dear Gaby world’s best advice This advice was published in Happeningnow! everywhere print edition vol. 2 no. 1. To keep up with Gaby's advice, subscribe now! You never know when someone else's problem is, like , your own. deargaby@happeningnoweverywhere.com happeningnow, post office box 45204 somerville, ma 02145 Dear Gaby, “Laura” wears too much makeup! How can I let her know this, we’re very good friend an I want to help, and I want to keep being her friend. We’re like 13. ~Nancy Dear Nancy, I think that the only thing you can do for your friend "Laura" is to hint that you think she looks better with less makeup. For example, if you see her on a day when she woke up late or something and didn't put on as much makeup tell her that she looks really good. Or if that opportunity never presents itself say something to her like "if you wore a little mascara and no eyeshadow it would really bring out your eyes." Make it into a compliment instead of an insult and it won't hurt her feelings. ~Gaby Dear Gaby, At the start of what was supposed to be a great weekend spending lots of time with my boyfriend, he ruined everything—and I mean everything— by telling me he was joining the navy. To make it worse, I started an argument with him. I said some things I didn’t mean that were hurtful and personal to him like “so you think that’s helping people” that I didn’t really mean and other things I meant about how I feel about the war and everything. By the way I am a junior in high school and he is 18 and just graduated. He already signed up and is supposed to be gong in January. Some Christmas present! Deep down I am really hurt that he would make this decision and I don’t know what to do. I can’t think of a catchy sign-off so I guess I am just “Hurt and confused” Dear Hurt and Confused, Dealing with issues with the military are never easy, especially when it involves someone you love. It brings out strong opinions and political views which sometimes can turn into a full scale argument. Sadly I don't think there is really anything you can do to stop your boyfriend joining the navy. All you can do is tell him how you really feel about it. You already had an argument so this time sit him down and have a calm conversation. Be honest though. Tell him that you'll support him in whatever he decides but lay down the truth about how you feel about it. He needs to know that you wish he wouldn't go but you'll be there if he does (even if its not as his girlfriend anymore). I'm sure he's having some doubts and worries about joining too so just talk it out and think you'll be able to solve something ... even if he still joins the navy. Dear Gaby, When I saw Bridge to Terabithia, it “scared the s**t out of me”. I don’t now how else to say it I was trembling for weeks trembled with all the recollected dread that had darkened my day since starting at some dark realization when I was like 9 after my grandmother died . This summer I saw and curiously read the articles on the movie in your magazine. I started to think about it in a little better way. Now I want to see the movie again but I’m afraid. I’m wondering if I shuld rent the DVD. What do u think? Would it make me feel better? scared S**tless Dear Scared S**tless, I think everyone goes through a time in their childhood when the idea of death really scares them. Whether it's due to the death of a loved one or watching a movie that has to do with death or a near death experience or whatever, there comes a time when people become overwhelmed by the fear of death. This is understandable since death is a scary thing because no one really knows what happens when you die. I know that I went through a year when I was in about 5th grade where I would get really upset whenever anyone brought up death or dying. But believe me, as you get older you become less afraid of death as you grow and mature. My advice: watch the movie again. You never know ... it may even be an uplifting experience because now that you're older you can see that it's not just about death but about how love lives on after death. Good luck. ~Gaby |